Okay, I have devised a cunning plan to make sure my kinnies will only transfer when I know it is safe.... (Yes, it SO cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel!)
https://jahanc.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/plan.jpg
1) I will create a new level 1 character on my current home server. Something starting with Aa or something that will make them appear near the top when sorted by Alphabet.
2) Before I transfer, I will send a kinship mail instructing people to add this level 1 character to friends list.
3) When the kinship leader transfers successfully, I will then DELETE that character from the server, automatically removing it from everyone's friendslist.
4) That will be the signal that it is safe to transfer over and be guaranteed automatic joining of the kinship.
As with most of Baldrick's cunning plans however, there is bound to be something I have not thought of....