3 things a champion would like you to know... cause I hate you and want you to cry..

[Harumph]

I read a lot of things about champions on the forums, and I think it's time to clear up some misunderstandings. First, understand that the only way to win an encounter is by killing the mobs. This is through DPS. And because of our great AOE DPS, champions are the most important member of the group. But we fill other roles as well. Mostly, we optimize fellowships. How? Because we know these things:


1. Minstrels are lazy. I mean, come on. To do our max DPS, we need to be in Fervour, which has a -30% healing penalty. This just means that the minstrel must heal us 30% more. But sometimes they complain about this. This makes no sense. They rolled a healing class to heal, and now they get to heal 30% more! They should be thanking us. If someone said to me "Do 30% more DPS" I'd say "OK!"


Minstrel carry around lutes and wear fancy hats. We need to keep them on their toes, or they will drift off and start daydreaming about butterflies, fancy hats, and butterflies in fancy hats.


2. Loremasters are afraid of almost everything. Seriously. All of their skills are based around this. They mez and root to keep the scary things away. If that fails, they debuff it, so it seems a little less scary to them. And they have pets to help keep things away from them, and to have someone to cuddle with in case they have a bad dream or something.


Champions are not afraid. We are there to AOE DPS, and not hitting things is counterproductive. So we must break every mez we see. And the purpose of roots is to keep everything together so it is easier to AOE it all.

Don't worry, little LM. The mighty champ will save you, even if you are just some weirdo in a bathrobe.


3. Raging Blades is the best skill ever. It hits a lot of targets, hits them hard, and adds threat. There is nothing not awesome about this. And it makes an awesome noise. SHING-SHING! When the fellowship hears that, they know it's go time! SHING-SHING! OMG, it's so awesome I would do it constantly if I could. Too bad its on a 10 second cooldown.


Sometimes, a guardian or a warden will say "Don't charge in there and Raging Blades before I get good aggro" but really what they mean is "I'm totally jealous of that skill. Please don't use it and make me look like a wuss. I want to run up to those mobs and like yell at them some, and then pound on my shield menacingly. Ooh I'm so tough." Hahaha. To bad, it's DPS time! SHING-SHING!


Then they'll say things like "Well, if you can't hold back, then at least Ebbing Ire on to me." But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

If I could pick them up and throw them into a well Darth Vader-style, I would.



Just realize that while champions are awesome, we want you to be awesome too. That's why we do the things we do.

[cicdle]

+1 Just what I needed on a long Friday afternoon.

[Thrindal]

Awesome post, and +10 radiance for mentioning Darth Vader.

[Thane9]

Nice post.

[jeedai]

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

[ScrappyTheGreat]

One of the funniest posts I've seen in a long time. Great work. the RK-lorebreaker-ebbingIre bit was priceless. "Behold the wrath of Tolkien!" grandtastic

[Thalifea]

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

There is a fundamental problem with that assertion, but I'll let you figure it out

Otherwise, great lulz for a Friday afternoon.

[Thurindras]

This is great satire.




It is satire, right?

[ifreborn1]

Then they'll say things like "Well, if you can't hold back, then at least Ebbing Ire on to me." But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

If I could pick them up and throw them into a well Darth Vader-style, I would.

You just won lotro \o/

[CWood]

But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

The whole post is a riot, but that bit is beyond awesome.

[Feoh]

It's funny because it's true.

[doug01]

I love it....So true

[Silverangel]

2. Loremasters are afraid of almost everything. Seriously. All of their skills are based around this. They mez and root to keep the scary things away...Don't worry, little LM. The mighty champ will save you, even if you are just some weirdo in a bathrobe.

Please stop breaking my mezzes. *cries a little*

Lol- great post.

[DarkNoble]

nice. Thank you.

[Hyetal]

I am a Champion, and I approve of this message.

[ButrBiscut]

You sir, have just won one internets. Thank you, come again!

[IslandNurse]

Most DEFINITELY Post of the Day.

And if the post did not do it, the name alone is worth looking at!

*grin*

[SaintBass]

One does not simply walk into Mordor and demand cookies...





























...but a Champion does it anyway.

[jeedai]

There is a fundamental problem with that assertion, but I'll let you figure it out

Otherwise, great lulz for a Friday afternoon.

There's only one hero in LotRO. That's me, on my Rune-keeper. I ignore everyone else. They're breaking my immersion. Those in my groups are the friends helping the hero (me). Everyone can say the same. Many Rune-keepers, one person.

Besides, who says a Sith Lord can't have several manifestations of himself?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Empire
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/One_Sith

[Digital_Utopia]

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

Is it so wrong to want a Nagzul robe for my RK? lol

[thefish7again]

Ahahahahhahaha. Nice work!

[IowaHawk]

This post needs to be inlaid in mithril on the palms of the Argonauth. Epic.

[Lara69690]

Please stop breaking my mezzes. *cries a little*

Lol- great post.

And my traps!


I agree, awesome post! And my sister loremaster never runs away from a fight, just so you know. She runs right in, she's a freakin nutbag!

[saelanora]

1. Minstrels are lazy. I mean, come on. To do our max DPS, we need to be in Fervour, which has a -30% healing penalty. This just means that the minstrel must heal us 30% more. But sometimes they complain about this. This makes no sense. They rolled a healing class to heal, and now they get to heal 30% more! They should be thanking us. If someone said to me "Do 30% more DPS" I'd say "OK!"

We're supposed to heal champions? Man, I learn something new everyday about this game.

[TheSanchez]

Shing Shing!